In the great book, “How Big Things Get Done”, a key takeaway for me the was the phrase, “start with why”. In the book, Bent describes this as thinking from “right to left”, meaning, start with your goals in mind first and work back from there. Its crucial for larger projects that have mean and average cost/time overruns that make anyone blush.
This higher-level view helps strip away the potential superfluous actions we may take as it refocuses on what exactly we’re after. The absolute shortcut here is to simply ask:
Why?
I had to face this in my own life in recent years, as I considered a move from Atlanta to a familiar beach town that I loved. Crime in Atlanta, like many other major cities at the time, was getting out of my comfort zone and I strongly considered a move out. Yet, there were many “whys” to be answered, only one of which was an escape from crime. For instance, after extensive research, I discovered that crime even in a quieter beach town was also elevated…even at the specific home I was considering according to police reports.
A more honest assessment of “why” came down to my own ego. Maybe I wanted the superficial ego boost of owning/living on the beach? Or maybe there were solvable problems at my current home that I was too timid to begin the process of addressing, while it was easier to dream of just packing up and leaving. There’s many other underlying reasons for the things we choose to do, some of which require an uncomfortable reality check.
I was reminded of all of this after a long drive yesterday listening to Ray Kroc’s autobiography of the making of McDonald’s, “Grinding it out”, on which the movie “The Founder” is based. I parlayed that drive and finished the book (skipping through several chapters to be honest) with lunch with a good buddy of mine.
What I heard throughout the book was a choice by an entrepreneur, his “why”, was to create one of the largest companies in the world. You know the end of the story, but he did just that, but at the expense of virtually everything in his life, his marriage, children, and health. The interesting this is I haven’t watched the movie yet, so I only know the story from Ray’s side, and its still unflattering. But more importantly, at lunch I just kept asking the question of “why?".
Now, I understand I’m putting my own temperament, goals and perspectives through the lens of another man who had his own goals, incentives and motivations. So to me, a sacrifice of the people in his life for untold riches seemed dumb to me, while to Ray Kroc, his goals were met. I’ve written about it before, but it boils down to the value of enough:
Getting to Why
The thing is, asking why clears much of the smoke and mirrors of the lies we tell ourselves of our goals. Maybe its a way to reclaim the driver’s seat and focus on what really maters. Its very useful in larger decisions, as in “How Big Things Get Done” illustrates, in asking that crucial question before embarking on any large project. Why do you want to remodel the bathroom? Could that underlying desire be achieved in a better way? Maybe it comes down to a desire to relax more? For anyone doing a home improvement project, you all know thats not a relaxing experience.
So in the potential move to the beach, the underlying “why” seemed to resolve itself. A part of it was crime in Atlanta, at least in my neck of the woods, calmed down (after speaking with a cop buddy of mine on the on-the-ground situation). On the beach side, pricing got way out of hand, as the supply of Airbnb/VRBO rentals jumped 50% year-over-year. Meaning, the time to buy anything will follow when that cohort of investors are squeezed by higher insurance rates and declining rental revenues, which is taking hold across the country. (For those following the residential real estate market, that’s my key metric and I believe will signal any pricing corrections.)
The other side of the “why” was my own ego. I didn’t need to move, I just thought that it would compensate for, in part, the pain of 2022 in the markets. A strange way to cope with the pain huh? The true answer came again in asking why, and then an excellent follow up in very Tim Ferris/Tony Robbins style:
How could I achieve the same benefits with much less money/risk/investment?
Answer: Rent a place.
I love asking that follow up because it takes the larger “Why” and refines it into an action that could very well be the best option out of the whole ordeal. By renting someone else’s place for a few weeks, I don’t take on the risks of ownership, while realizing the benefits I was after, all for a fraction of the cost. I also saved myself from a potentially expensive ego trip.
Asking why feels annoying sometimes because it is. Its a forcing function that makes you confront what exactly is the motivation. More often than I’d like, the answer to “why” is cheap status games, make myself feel better, or a means to abdicate responsibility towards something difficult.
Its also useful in taking efficient action, a good why brings you toward your true goals faster.
Sometimes, I just don’t know the answer to why, so if I can’t give a good answer, maybe inaction is the solution.
Will